Who we are?
It’s Tuesday, an endless day ahead of you. Boss has sent you an email at 5am which woke you up:
“Reports not on my dang desk, Johnson. You’ll be counting pennies till you’re eighty if it’s not there by close of business”.
God, that guy doesn’t take a break. You pour yourself a cup joe in your Frank Green coffee cup. It’s bright pink and has your name engraved on the side. A gift from your mother in law. You get in your Hyundai i30. Lob your lunch in the back seat (eventually forgetting about it and buying some rubbish sushi from a warm fridge in a supermarket), and you take the 30-50 minute commute to work, depends on the traffic doesn’t it.
Before you set off though, you’re flicking through your Spotifys, your Apple Podcasties, your sound clouds. You’re not looking for that song you’ve been playing over and over again are you? Nah, you’re looking for something new. Something fresh. Something you can bring up in conversation the next time you’re at that dang water cooler, having chats with old Hankie boy about his time playing lacrosse on the weekend with his kids that don’t love him anymore.
You want to one up him.
You scroll and you scroll and you scroll…then it hits you. Cream background. Littered with animate and inanimate objects. Reminds you of a book you had in the primary school library. Two boys peek over at you through the screen. A glint of mischief in their eyes, perhaps a smidge of British humour. Who knows? Not you. You don’t know what they're about.
You scroll through the episodes:
Cigarettes and Disneyland
Can Pingu Speak English?
The Dark Side of Sea Monkeys
then, you see it…
The podcast episode that could change your life. It could even change the people around me too. For the better.
Rodent Revolution. “Hmm. Could be good”, you think.
The intro plays as you turn the key in the ignition. Sounds pretty retro for two 2000 boys. Before you know it, your ears are filled with northern voices. Tit and ball humour. Facts that would throw your boss’ pants right out the window.
You finally feel it. That feeling that leaves once it turns 9 and returns when it’s 5. Joy. You found a sound that you can really dig.
Before you know it you’ve parked in your spot under the towering building of businesses. You don’t get out of your car with strain. You spring out. Like you have a new lease on life. You storm into that elevator with such vigour that the other suits around you shoot you a look of horror that says “No one should have that much joy”.
The elevator dings. Floor 36. Your floor. You own it now, son. You see Hank, boring the ears off of the new guy. You sprint towards him, the anticipation of what you’re about to say to him cannot wait to leave your trembling lips. He turns to greet you but before he can get his smug little mouth open about his daughters torn ACL…
“Did you know a guinea pigs vagina is the size of a human nostril?”
